ISIS

National Ave Exclusive: Donald Trump’s 100 Day Plan

January 10, 2017 / by / 0 Comment

As the country waits for President Obama to head back to Chicago and give an eloquent farewell address, we got a hold of President Elect Trump’s Diary, in which he states his plans for his first 100 Days as President:

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This presidential campaign isn't reminiscent of 1968 -- it feels like 1964 all over again.

No, it’s not 1968. It’s 1964.

September 28, 2016 / by / 0 Comment

Earlier this year, New York magazine ran a piece by Jonathan Chait titled “It Is Not 1968.” It’s a good article and well worth your time, but the basic premise is that despite the social upheaval at home and violence around the world, 2016 is not much like one of the most iconic and chaotic years in American history. Chait is right, it’s not 1968. It’s 1964.

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Here are seven names that are infinitely better than 'Guaranteed Rate Field'

7 Names For Sox Park That Would Be Less Terrible Than Guaranteed Rate Field

August 25, 2016 / by / 0 Comment

The White Sox announced yesterday that starting at the end of the season, US Cellular Field will be renamed… Guaranteed Rate Field.

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Pokemon Go 9/11 Memorial

The Top 10 Least Appropriate Places to Play Pokemon Go

July 19, 2016 / by / 0 Comment

Pokemon Go is captivating phones throughout the nation, and has magically become the only app that has made people swipe more aggressively than Tinder.

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What Zayn Malik's sexy smash hit can teach us about defeating the existential threat of ISIS

How Zayn’s “Pillowtalk” gave us a strategy to defeat ISIS

March 11, 2016 / by / 0 Comment

Zayn Malik’s sexy smash “Pillowtalk” is already one of the biggest hits of 2016. But what you may not know is that the single not only is a commercial success and dirty redirection of the singer’s style, but also lays out a cogent blueprint for defeating one of the international community’s most dangerous and existential threats:

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48 Things I’d Stick In My Urethra Rather Than See “Gods of Egypt”

February 23, 2016 / by , / 0 Comment

Gods of Egypt comes out this weekend, and if trailers, reviews, and common sense are any indication, it’s going to be an absolutely shit movie. 

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National Ave's exclusive interview between Sean Penn and ISIS Caliph Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi

ISIS Caliph Speaks: The exclusive interview with Sean Penn

January 12, 2016 / by / 0 Comment

It’s October 30th, 2015. The call to prayer is blaring in my head as I wake up, the cocaine still hasn’t worn off and I don’t know where to hide this dead hooker.

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Following the release of the latest crop of emails obtained from Hillary Clinton's personal email account, National Ave has obtained the 2016 presidential candidates list of resolutions for the new year

Hillary Clinton’s New Years Resolutions

January 04, 2016 / by , / 0 Comment

Following the release of the latest crop of emails obtained from Hillary Clinton’s personal email account, National Ave has obtained the 2016 presidential candidates list of resolutions for the new year:

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What can Jon Favreau and Will Ferrell's 2003 Christmas classic 'Elf' teach us about the fight to defeat ISIS?

What Can ‘Elf’ Teach Us About Defeating ISIS?

December 18, 2015 / by / 35 Comments

The Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant, also known as “ISIL,” “ISIS,” “IS,” or simply “Daesh,” is a dangerous terrorist organization that must be defeated. 2003’s Elf is a delightful holiday movie, directed by Jon Favreau and starring the charismatic Will Ferrell in one of the most beloved Christmas movies in recent memory.

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Florida Man vs. GOP Lawmaker

February 26, 2015 / by / 2 Comments

He’s the most infamous man in the world. He’ll moon an IHOP after impersonating a cop. He’ll accuse holograms of abducting his wife. He is…Florida Man.

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