Aaron Hernandez Spends Seventh Consecutive Felontine’s Day Alone

February 14, 2014 / by / 9 Comments

BOSTON — Former New England Patriots tight end and accused murderer Aaron Hernandez announced this morning that he would be spending Felontine’s Day alone this year.

The announcement does not come as a surprise to many, as Hernandez has been alone in his celebration of the holiday since his first Felontine’s Day in 2008.

“I think a lot of people spend it alone,” said Hernandez. “It’s kind of sad, but I think most of us have also learned to find our own ways to ignore the loneliness. For me, I’ve actually come to learn to embrace Felontine’s Day as an opportunity to reflect on my own life and accomplishments.”

Added Hernandez, “I murdered three people last week.”

Many of Hernandez’ former teammates from the University of Florida said they see Felontine’s Day as a time to spend with others.

“In Gainesville, we used to go hard for Felontine’s Day,” said Jamar Hornsby, a safety at University of Florida who made over 70 purchases using a dead woman’s credit card. “30 or 40 of us. We used to have a blast.”

As of press time, Urban Meyer was at a nightclub with between 70 and 80 of his former players.