Hot Takes In Your Area: Drake Is A Better Feminist Than Beyonce
Lots of women like to claim to be feminists, but it can be tough to separate the true feminists from the imposters. That’s why it’s important to have people like me acting as the final judge on who really counts as a feminist.
After Beyonce stood on stage in front of the word feminist one time, my interest was piqued. Was Queen Bey really a feminist? As I looked to Beyonce’s newest album to offer some clues, I realized that what I was really missing was a man to compare her against. That’s where Drake and his new album come in.
And after listening to both Lemonade and Views at least 1.5 times (Views is really long, people), I came to a pretty obvious conclusion: Drake is a better feminist than Beyonce.
1. Drake sings really nice things about women. He treats them “Too Good” and asks them for “One Dance” and all that stuff. He even pens inspiring lyrics for them, like “you should just be yourself, right now you’re someone else.” If only every woman took his advice.
2. He’s all sweet and tender with women, but you know it’s not even cause he’s trying to sleep with them cause he’s nice to Rihanna too and she’s made it prettyyyy clear that’s not gonna happen. Being in the friendzone never stops a true feminist!
3. Beyonce, on the other hand, calls women bitches like it’s no big deal. Um, call me old fashioned but the only b-word a true feminist would be using is Susan B. Anthony.
4. Not to mention that even when she compliments other women, it’s for superficial things like having “good hair.” Women are more than their hair, Bey– and Becky’s eyes are up HERE.
5. Plus, Beyonce’s always ordering other women around. Why does she make Serena Williams dance for her like that? The sight of a woman with 21 grand slam titles obediently twerking for her Queen is enough to make any feminist wanna puke.
6. Drake’s real name is Aubrey. Look it up, it’s true! That’s about as feminist a name as you can have.
People, the evidence is just overwhelming. Now I’m sure I’ll get some blowback for this opinion, sometimes the takes are just too hot for the people to handle. I can just see the ACTUALLYs already.
So in conclusion I have just one final thought: don’t @ me.
NOTE: Hot Takes In Your Area should be considered satire at all points unless you agree with it in which case it’s totally serious.