Vladmir Putin's take on the crisis in Ukraine's Crimean peninsula, in the words of Justin Timberlake

Putin to Ukraine: “Oh, Crimea River”

March 03, 2014 / by / 17 Comments

MOSCOW– Russian President Vladimir Putin Monday told Ukrainian officials to “Crimea river” following his invasion of the region in western Ukraine.

In justifying his actions, Putin pointed to pleas for Russian intervention from the Crimean government, adding, “Now you tell me you need me / When you call me, on the phone.”

However, critics noted the hostile nature of the Russian actions, including reports that troops had moved in as part of a military occupation that has involved the destruction of property. Putin stressed that “Your bridges were burned / and now it’s your turn / To cry / Crimea river.”

United States President Barack Obama sharply condemned the Russian invasion, and indicated that once his intelligence sources notified him of the occupation, he took steps to de-normalize relations with Russia: “You don’t have to say, what you did / I already know, I found out from him / Now there’s just no chance, for you and me / there’ll never be.”

Earlier Monday, ousted Ukrainian President Viktor Yanukovych issued a statement blaming recent protests that removed him from power before the Russian invasion: “You took a chance / And made other plans / But I bet you didn’t think that they would come crashing down, no.”