Skip Bayless and Stephen A. Smith Review 'Star Wars: The Force Awakens'

Skip Bayless and Stephen A. Smith Review ‘Star Wars: The Force Awakens’

January 11, 2016 / by , / 0 Comment

Stephen A. Smith: Okay, today we are here to review The Force Awakens, the new Star Wars film that EVERYBODY is talking about! Skip, let’s go, what did you think?

Skip Bayless: I thought a lot of things about it, Stephen, but this is the main thing I just couldn’t get over throughout the entire film. Call me old fashioned, but I can’t get used to the idea of a Wookie piloting a Corellian YT-1300 light freighter. It just doesn’t feel right with me.

Stephen A. Smith: Oh come on. And you say I make everything about race.

Skip Bayless: This isn’t about race. It’s —

Stephen A. Smith: JASON GARRETT WANTS TO OBLITERATE THE ENTIRE RACE OF WOOKIES. JASON GARRETT HATES WOOKIE PEOPLE.

Skip Bayless: Well that’s debatable. Speaking of race–

Stephen A. Smith: Are you about to talk about–

Skip Bayless: Finn!

Stephen A. Smith: FINN! I knew you would–

Skip Bayless: F. N. 2. 1. 8. 7. To be perfectly honest, I wasn’t a fan of him.

Stephen A. Smith: Why am I not surprised?

Skip Bayless: The guy’s an amateur. Hasn’t put in the time to properly learn how to operate the equipment he uses. He doesn’t know how to sit gunner on the Falcon, he fails to protect the TIE fighter from those missiles, he almost gets people killed a few times, and when he DOES do something right, he doesn’t shut up about it! It’s all “did you see that” this, “WOOOO” that, the guy doesn’t behave like a professional.

Stephen A Smith: Finn is woke right now. Rey is woke right now. Han is so woke right now it’s 3 in the morning and he’s still woke because he had a grande coffee at 4pm. Leia is woke. Luke is woke. The whole Force is woke! And you know what? Han Solo is woke too.

Skip Bayless: Han Solo — completely overrated.

Stephen A. Smith: WHAT?!?

Skip Bayless: Compleeeetely overrated. Did you see him get absolutely shredded by Kylo Ren. His own son!

Stephen A. Smith: You have got to be kidding me. What, you think Tim Tebow would be a better rebel commander and space pilot than Han Solo?

Skip Bayless: Tim Tebow would be a much better rebel commander and space pilot than Han Solo.

Stephen A. Smith: UNBELIEVABLE!

Skip Bayless: And here’s something else about Han Solo: When it gets down to the wire like that, you need leaders. You need guys with poise and experience. You need GOOD GUYS. This guy Han Solo? He — well, first of all, I mean the guy’s son started most of this. That isn’t a good start. But on top of that, he’s really just a thug. He’s a smuggler, he steals ships and smuggles Rathtars and doesn’t pay back his loans. Letting this guy be one of the top figures in your Rebellion communicates one thing to the rest of your troops: It’s okay to be a thug. And, like I said, when it comes down to the wire, that attitude, that mentality of “anything goes,” that comes back to bite you.

Stephen A. Smith: But–

Skip Bayless: Tim Tebow? That guy’s a leader. I mean, a real leader.

Stephen A. Smith: You know, you see a lot of young guys coming up, leaving their Jedi training camps or wherever, and just getting handed all of this responsibility right out the gate. I think it’s too much for some people.

Skip Bayless: Yeah, take a guy like Kylo Ren. Huge potential, big upside. But a guy like that needs a mentor, not some bad influence, manipulative, force-sensitive supreme leader like Snoke, but somebody who can really guide him through the dark side of the force. Coming right out of Luke’s academy and immediately getting handed a squadron of Stormtroopers and the keys to the entire Starkiller base? It’s a lot to take on, and I don’t think he was ready mentally or physically for the challenge.

Stephen A. Smith: I’ll give you two more words why I wouldn’t trust him with that much power. TWO WORDS. Character. Issues.

Skip Bayless: Exactly. You know who doesn’t have character issues, though? This young guy, this Po Dameron guy. He reminds me a lot of Kobe Bryant. A lot of talent, guy’s got tons of talent–

Stephen A. Smith: You can’t be ser–

Skip Bayless: Smart guy, plays smart, thinks on his f–

Stephen A Smith: No! You’re actually serious!

Skip Bayless: He’s got a lot of grit, plays hard, leaves nothing on–

Stephen A. Smith: I can’t believe this! I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS! Would Kobe have been so dumb as to shoot his blaster at Kylo Ren when the guy clearly wouldn’t die in such a pedestrian manner??? Would Kobe have let himself get CAPTURED by the First Order?! Would Kobe have crashed his TIE FIGHTER on JAKKU??? Would Kobe have been so mentally weak as to let Kylo Ren into his mind??? Sure, maybe during the scene where they blow up the planet, he shows some flashes of Kobe, but come on — all things considered, this guy doesn’t hold a CANDLE to Kobe Bryant!

Skip Bayless: I don’t know, Stephen. Well another real hot-button issue lately is about the film’s prominent portrayal of female and minority actors and characters, who have been historically underrepresented in the Star Wars franchise and Hollywood in general.

Stephen A. Smith: Let me stop you right there, and answer your question with another question: Peak Carrie Fischer, or Rey?

Skip Bayless: It’s got to be Carrie Fisher. Not even a hesitation! That gold bikini she wears in Jabba’s Palace? She is on fire. But Rey? I never understood why she has those really long sleeve-type things, you know?

Stephen A. Smith: I agree, Skip. Those sleeves bother me on football players, too. I don’t think football players should be allowed to wear long sleeves!

Skip Bayless: Could not agree more! I miss the days when players were tough, when they’d play through injuries and weather any conditions to play the game, not to get paid, but because they loved to play the damn game! Now you have all these young punks who just want to get their paycheck and stay warm.

Stephen A. Smith: It’s football! You can be warm the other six days of the week, but not Sunday!

Skip Bayless: Well we were lucky enough to get a character from the film, Luke Skywalker, to join us via video. Luke, we’re going to start off with a simple question: Where have you been? Where were you?

Luke: Well, as they explained in the movie, I had a hard time–

Stephen A. Smith: Where’d you go?

Skip Bayless: Luke, where the hell did you go?

Luke: Well, after Kylo Ren turned to the Dark Side, I had a lot of soul-searching to do. It was a very difficu–

Skip Bayless: Luke, you’re not answering our questions!

Stephen A. Smith: We just want to know where you went! WHERE. DID. YOU. GO. LUKE?!

Luke: I went searching for the Jedi Temple.

Stephen A. Smith: And you never came back?!

Luke: Well, as it happens, what I discovered there was–

Skip Bayless: What you discovered there was that you didn’t want to come back!!! The Dark Side sees a resurgence, and you’re just standing there on the sidelines!

Stephen A. Smith: Unbelievable. How could you leave the Light Side hanging like that? They were counting on you.

Luke: I left a–

Skip Bayless: You know, it’s this kind of attitude, this whole “do whatever I want, to hell with the greater good” attitude that is the REASON that the Dark Side seems so hard to defeat. It’s a problem of attitude and morale.

Stephen A. Smith: Thanks for joining us, Luke. Alright, everyone, don’t forget to tune in tomorrow for our discussion of Spotlight.