22 Quotes from Sylvia Plath’s “The Bell Jar Jar”

March 22, 2014 / by / 33 Comments

If you saw Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace, then you remember Jar Jar Binks. You know, the character who serves no purpose but comedic value, except he isn’t funny, and is also arguably racist in nature. Anyway, we hate him, and you hate him, and everyone hates him. So, as a token of our hatred for JJB, we’ve envisioned what it would be like if he read passage of Sylvia Plath’s The Bell Jar, because — well, there’s no reason we did this.

“De silence depressin’ me-sa. Dis’a no be de silence of de silence. Dis’a me’sa silence!”

“Me’sa shuttin’ me’sa eyes and aaaaall de worlds’a droppin’ dead! Me’sa liftin’ me’sa eyes — all’sa be born again!”

“Me’sa feelin’ veeeery still and a-veeeery empty, the way’sa de eye of de tornado feelin’, moving duuuuully along’sa in de middle of de muy surroundin’ hullabullabullabulloo!”

“Me’sa no seein’ de point of gettin’ me’sa up, me’sa no got nussin’ to be lookin’a forward to!”

“‘If you’sa lovin’ her,’ me’sa say, ‘you’sa lovin’ someone elsa some’a day!'”

“So teeeere me’sa go again, buildin’ me’sa up a muy glamorous picture of dis’a man who be lovin’ me muy passionately de minute he’sa meetin’ me, and all dis’a out of de few prosy nussins!”

“Me’sa beginninnin’ to thinkisa dat de vodka is me’sa drinky at lastin’! It don’t taste’a like anyssing, but its’a goin’ straaaight down into me’sa stomach like de swordin’ swallowers’a sword and make’a me’sa feelin’ powerful and muy muy godlike!”

“Me’sa tinkin’ dat de most beauuutiful ting in da world must’a be’sa shadow!”

“Dis’a floor seemin’ muy wonderfully’a solid! It be’sa muy comforting to know me’sa had fallen and couldn’t no fallin’ no farda!”

 

“Tere be a somessin’ muy muy demoralizing about watching two’sa peoples gettin’ muy and muy crazy about each’a others, especially when yousa de only extra people in da whoooole room!”

“Aaaalll dis’a heatin’ and’a fearin’ had purged it’sa self! Me’sa feelin’ muy surprisingly at peace! De bell jar hangin’ suspended a few feets above me’sa head! Me’sa muy open to de circulalalating airs!”

“Me’sa wantin’ to be’sa where nooobody me’sa knowin’ can’t ever be’a comin’ no more!”

 

“Dis’a silence it’sa draw muy off, baring dis’a pebbles and dis’a shells and aaaall de tatty wreckerage of me’sa life!”

“Everyssing dis’a peoples do seem’a muy silly, because dey’sa only dyin’ in de end!”

“Me’sa feelin’ dis’a winter shaking aaaall me’sa bones’a and bangin’ me’sa teeths togedda!”

   

“To dis’a peoples in dis’a bell jar, blank and’a stoppin’ as dis’a muy dead baby, de world it’a self is de bad dream!”

“Me’sa collectin’ men with muy interesting names!”

  

“Me’sa me’sa own woman! Dis’a next steppin’ be to findin’ de proppa sorta man!”

 

“When dey’sa askin’ me’sa what me’sa wantin’ to be’sa, me’sa say me’sa no knowin’!”