Just because the nominees can't drink doesn't mean you can't while watching from home!

The Ultimate 2015 Oscars Drinking Game

February 22, 2015 / by , / 0 Comment

The Oscars are almost upon us, which means that months of campaigning, prediction-making, and Selma-smearing will finally be resolved in one magical telecast of self-congratulatory opulence. But remember, just because those present at the Dolby Center can’t drink doesn’t mean you can’t get wasted at home!

Follow along with all the action, snubs, and forced Kevin Hart appearances on your own with our official drinking game for the 2015 Oscars!

Take a sip of your drink any time…

  • Neil Patrick Harris performs a Broadway-style musical number
  • Somebody jokes about how you could have filmed Boyhood in the same time it takes the ceremony to wrap up
  • You’re subjected to a 50 Shades of Grey reference
  • The music cuts off the speech of somebody who was just won the most prestigious award possible in celebration of their life’s work
  • ABC tries to make Jimmy Kimmel relevant
  • You read a tweet pointing out that all 20 nominees for the acting category just happen to be white
  • You remember that The Lego Movie Isn’t nominated for best animated feature film and realize this entire award show is A GODDAMN SHAM
  • Channing Tatum struggles to read the teleprompter
  • Someone makes a joke about Benedict Cumberbatch’s name
  • Jennifer Lawrence somehow manages to demonstrate to us all how off-the-cuff and down-to-earth she can be
    • – Take a second sip if you covertly search “Jennifer Lawrence hot” on your phone
    • – Chug your beer and smash it against your forehead if Jennifer Lawrence and Bradley Cooper are filmed shotgunning High Life backstage

Finish your drink whenever…

  • Somebody tries to “break the internet”
  • Ralph Fiennes’ mustache is snubbed by the notoriously stodgy Academy voters
  • You confuse The Theory of Everything with The Imitation Game
  • You lose yourself in the deep, luminescent wells of pale green that are Emma Stone’s eyes
  • Jack Black and Richard Linklater perform the song from School of Rock
  • Clint Eastwood is caught saying something wildly uncomfortable and vaguely xenophobic with great zeal
  • Common makes a politically-charged statement and the camera cuts to a bunch of white ABC execs looking really uncomfortable
  • Prince seduces you through the television
  • You realize all of these celebrities are going to have beautiful sex with each other after the show

Take a shot if…

  • Michael Keaton and Christian Bale have a Batman-off
  • The Weinstein Company robs an award from a more deserving nominee
  • Wes Anderson isn’t wearing a scarf and a tweed jacket
  • You can’t stop the thought of Benedict Cumberbatch’s tumescent penis from floating listlessly through the back of your mind
  • Meryl Streep wins an award that she wasn’t even nominated for
  • Someone finally makes a joke about how 12 Years a Slave and Boyhood both took twelve years to film

Finish your drink, get yourself another, and tearfully call up the father figure in your life you’ve perpetually disappointed every time…