Are You the One? Season 4 Episode 6 Recap
Another week, another useless discussion of strategy after a four-beam ceremony.
Immediately after the matchup ceremony, Asaf and Tori (RIP TorAss) declare that the house needs to ensure that Sam and Alyssa win the next challenge so they can go in the Truth Booth. Julia, being more selfish than a BernieBro at the DNC, states that she doesn’t stand behind the plan. She is truly a monster.
Meanwhile, our favorite drunken lovebirds, Cam and Victoria, try to reignite their flame. Cam dismissed blacking out during their Boom Boom Room session by saying that he’s awkward, which is a lot like saying you stole a kitten because you hate the color red; those things just aren’t connected. However, it works for Victoria and they’re once again in the throes of romance after Cam delivers a sweetly chauvinistic, “You’re so pretty, you should smile more” line.
Thankfully, ATYO’s producers know we’re getting impatient, so we only have to tolerate the love charade for a few minutes before we get our next challenge. This week is the annual family week, and this season’s theme is moms. The game’s rules are as follows: Two women must face off against one another in trivia about the men of the house. A video of each man’s mom will reveal the right answer. Guess right first and you move forward to the next round. The game continues championship-style until there are two winners. Here are some of the top facts:
- Asaf’s childhood nickname is “Koochie” (hearing his mom say this also makes him cry, which is a little cute and a lot weird)
- John used to eat candy until he vomited. Looks like he’s had problems with his self-control since birth.
- Stephen once tried to conceal a party by hiding 30 kids in two closets. Nobody ever said he was smart.
Finally, after sifting through more repressed memories than we’d care to deal with, Alyssa and Emma win the challenge! Alyssa obviously picks Sam, and Emma picks John. I wonder who is going to the Truth Booth…
With all of the consequential stuff handled, it’s back to the “Giovanni Wants to Get His D Wet” show. He tells Julia that he believes she’s his perfect match. She doubts him, realizing the only thing he knows about her is that she looks good in a bikini. He admits he doesn’t know her, but insists he knows her. She says she doesn’t want to be claimed, which is a fair assertion but confusing since she’s most attracted to a guy who called her “that bitch.”
Later that night, Gio changes gears when he sees weakened prey in the form of Francesca. As she tears up over Asaf’s rejection of her, he offers to be her shitty shoulder to cry on. His plan works to perfection, and he seals the deal with the cringeworthy line, “I’m not about foreplay.” Yuck.
The following day, it’s time for the getaway date! Emma and John finally bond but don’t touch each other at all, which is a kind of hollow victory. On the plus side, John finally admits he thought Julia’s personality was great insofar as it lived inside an object he wanted to fuck. Meanwhile, Sam and Alyssa do a bunch of cutsie shit and it’s adorbs but really nothing different than what they’ve been doing for week. GET EXCITED FOR DAT TRUTH BOOTH!
In a shocking twist, the house votes to send John and Emma…Yeah, no. Sam and Alyssa are going into the Truth Booth. It’s finally time. Aaaaaaaaaaaaand! THEY’RE A MATCH!!! From the first week!!!! AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Thankfully, Gio is still in the house, so he shits all over the good mood by aggressively trying to sell himself to Julia. Stephen steps up like a real man and tells Gio
to respect her space and let Julia make her own choices that Julia is his and Gio better step away from his fire hydrant. Gio asserts his intelligence by offering to beat everyone in the house with a wine bottle. Did we mention he’s a huge asshole? It should really be clear by now.
The next night is a guy’s choice matchup ceremony. After Sam and Alyssa join Cameron and Mikala as honeymooners, it’s selection time.
- John picks Emma: Hey, they seem nice together. John maybe isn’t a huge douche. I mean, sure, he’s a douche. One good week doesn’t compensate for a month of assholery, but it’s a start.
- Cam picks Victoria: Ayyyy! Two for two with seemingly sensible picks. Here we go!
- Morgan picks Tori: #Torgan. Tori is better than him, but she’s more shallow than a lake in Arizona, so this will have to do.
- Stephen picks Julia: Phew! At least the nuclear bomb is averted. Stephen still sucks though. He’s a chauvinist dressed in Macklemore clothing.
- Gio kicks off his pick by speaking like a rapist and saying how difficult it will be to keep him from getting what he wants. It’s like he doesn’t have respect for anyone and sees women as objects to be claimed…or something like that. Who am I to say who is a shitbag and who isn’t based on the words they’ve said and actions they’ve done? Anyhow, Gio picks Francesca. When Francesca speaks her mind about Kaylen disrespecting her, Kaylen goes ballistic. More fighting, more bullshit, whatever.
- Prosper picks Kaylen: Sorry, Prosper.
- Tyler picks Nicole: Well it was about time we revisited this storyline. Tyler picks the woman he disrespected during week one. Are they a match? Maybe. Will this distract from all of the Gio/Kaylen/Stephen/Julia bullshit next episode? Let’s hope so.
- Asaf winds up with Camille: Asaf admits that he still has feelings for Francesca. Despite the superficial personality connection that he and Camille share, Asaf has deep feelings for Francesca now. It’s a weirdly sweet moment, considering Asaf spent the first couple weeks as a sexually insatiable asshole and didn’t respect Francesca early on because she wouldn’t sleep with him.
The house scores four total beams. AGAIN. Despite, choosing with their hearts, the house has come up short once more. This brings an interesting twist, as The Devlin abandons his typical “pick with your heart” rhetoric and tells the contestants they must come together. Oh, you’re a crafty one you little squirrel demon. This will undoubtedly unleash another shitstorm soon enough.
For now though, it’s time to revel in our newfound matchup knowledge and prepare for episode seven next week. You can see our matchup grid analysis here, and this is what the grid’s looking like after six episodes:
Get excited, y’all! Next week is sure to be a catastrophe.