Recap and review of episode 5 of MTV's Are You The One? season 4

Are You the One? Season 4 Episode 5 Recap

July 20, 2016 / by / 0 Comment

Fresh off another four-beam match-up ceremony, the women of the AYTO house decide to dive into strategy (or rather, George W. Bush’s “strategery” – something that sounds like strategy, but has no reasonable guidance). Together, they figure that one of the three couples that has sat together at the most match-up ceremonies should go into the Truth Booth.

That puts Sam & Alyssa, Gio & Kaylen, and Asaf & Camille on the chopping block. Meanwhile, Gio admits that he plans to try to sleep with every woman in the house if Kaylen isn’t his match. Stephen isn’t a fan of that because he respects women, already called dibs on Julia like a dog who peed on a hydrant, and feels that he will have to fight Gio to continue his dominion over another human.

To lockdown his love with Julia, Stephen plans a little date for the two of them. Julia says she loves that Stephen knows how to show that he’s thinking about her. Little does she know he’s thinking about locking her in a black box where no other men could ever be attracted to her.

Challenge time arrives, and this one is a doozy. Called “Drunk in Love,” the rules are simple: The men must look at two pictures of the women of the house – one is “normal” and the other has a small change. The men must run to the photos, find the change, and attach a tag identifying the alteration of each woman. The catch? They have to do this wearing “beer goggles” – a mask that simulates the feeling of being drunk. So basically they’ll have to complete this challenge feeling like their normal state every moment they’re in the house.

The two winners get to select ladies for the getaway date. Prosper wins first place and selects Nicole. However, the real clutch moment is Gio is taking second place. He picks Kaylen, and it looks like it’s time for this terrible circus to end.

Speaking of horrible circus acts, Morgan – the man with 500 ab muscles and no brains – further climbs down the romantic rabbit hole with Tori by eating whipped cream off her foot. Tori’s not having the best time with guys right now.

Victoria, meanwhile, finally selects her primary target – country boy Cam. After they mumble through compliments in a drunken stupor, it’s time for a move to the Boom Boom Room. Amazingly, the following morning comes and Cam straight-up doesn’t remember sleeping with Julia AT ALL. She threw up that night after having sex with him and was still sober enough to remember though… so that counts for something? Jesus, I don’t even want to dive into the legal waters on this. Victoria assumes Cam is lying, but Cam’s private confessionals betray this idea and demonstrate Cam is probably too dumb to manipulate anyone.

The following day is time for the getaway date, and it’s pretty awesome. Gio, Kaylen, Nicole, and Prosper get to spend the day in an adventure park with rope bridges and obstacle courses and other nice things that MTV shouldn’t fund for this show. Prosper and Nicole spend the date being super cute. Fortunately, we only see a tolerable bit of that before the Gio and Kaylen Massacre. Kaylen calls out Gio for his aggressive change of heart, and Gio basically says nothing. Kaylen continues to lecture Gio, but his mind is too focused on Julia’s boobs to even hear her. Incredible.

Obviously, the house votes Gio & Kaylen into the Truth Booth. AND THEY’RE NOT A MATCH! IT’S TIME FOR THE HOUSE TO BURN DOWN!!!

Sadly, the first burn is a deep one. Alyssa begins to doubt the strength of our metrosexual Thor, Sam. The house’s certainty that two crazy people who make impulsive decisions has interfered with the thinking of the saner couples of AYTO. The next burn is a lot more uncomfortable and potentially illegal, as Gio uses his new “freedom” to sexually harass every woman in the house.

Gio & Kaylen’s dissolution also brings phase two of Operation Strategery. Julia, Tori, and Stephen decide that all of the couples from the last ceremony should stay together other than Julia & Stephen, Gio & Kaylen and Sam & Alyssa. They plan on shuffling just these three couples to create a makeshift Truth Booth, with the idea being that a one-beam ceremony (not counting Mikala and Cameron) will prove both couples are matches.

At the matchup ceremony, the plan goes into action. The women’s picks maintain the previous week’s matches in perfect order:

  • Emma selects Cam: It is so fun to see Victoria seethe as Cam innocently restates he blacked out their entire night together. He means no harm, but she will definitely harm him.

    HAHAHAHAHAH! Did you think it was going to work that easily? Nope, by pick two, the whole plan is fucked.

  • Victoria picks Prosper: If she can’t be happy, she may as well destroy the house! Shockingly, this does lead to a genuine reveal: Prosper doesn’t see Nicole’s affection as the type of love he wants. Prosper’s decision to lead on Nicole and reveal his feelings in front of the house is painful, as it emotionally crushes Nicole. The Devlin does his first good deed by forcing Prosper to rationalize his selfish thinking to the whole house.

    After Victoria quickly squashes the obviously doomed plan, the ladies go into a tailspin. The remaining matches are as follows:

  • Kaylen picks Tyler: They bonded for five seconds and have similar hair. Also, they’re both nutjobs. So, sure! As long as it means less Gio/Kaylen screen time.
  • Nicole picks Stephen: Nicole is a sweetie. Stephen is an ass who belongs with an ass. Hopefully him and Julia are a match.
  • Camile picks Asaf: Full steam ahead on this sex train!
  • Alyssa picks Sam: Love live Salyssa!!!
  • Julia picks Morgan: Sorry, Gio! Julia couldn’t help but fuck over another woman in the house. Poor Tori gets left with scraps.
  • Tori picks John: Since the quiet douche is taken, Tori settles for the loud one.
  • Francesca is left with Giovanni: It’s a perfect fit – the woman who is weary of being emotionally manipulated into sex matched with the guy who loves to emotionally manipulate women into sex and wants to fuck everyone. Gio then ups the ante by admitting he thinks Camille could be his match because he could see her nipples through her shirt. Is Prosper also a possible match for Gio then? We see his nipples all of the time.

Despite a clusterfuck of a matchup ceremony, the house ends up with four total matches. While this will undoubtedly confuse the house further, it does provide us with great information for the potential match chart. The house may be no closer to discovering the perfect matches, but we sure are!

That’s all for this week! Next week promises the return of the infamous parent episode, so it’s sure to be a good one.