The Challenge: Free Agents Episode 5 Recap

May 11, 2014 / by / 19 Comments

Voting Deliberations

Cara Maria AKA Queen of Schemes and Secrets

Cara Maria AKA Queen of Schemes and Secrets

No time for drama, not this episode, we head straight into voting deliberations. Cara Maria immediately puts forward the idea of voting for Johnny Bananas. Her joy is palpable, and she has no problem rounding the rest of her team into the anti-Bananas mob. Zach captures the mood best, “Cara Maria finally has a chance to call out her arch nemesis, Mr. Bananas, and she has her pitchforks and her shotguns ready.”

The girl’s deliberation is a bit more complicated, but an unexpected name come to the top of the list: Laurel. Theresa leads the charge, saying that she’s tired of everyone slinking around, waiting for everyone else to do “their dirty work,” and that they need to start making moves and knocking big players out of the game. The rest of the team is initially hesitant to paint a target on their backs, but Theresa ultimately talks them around.


However, when it comes down to the actual vote, things don’t quite go as planned. Jonna, Leroy, Devyn, and Zach all vote for Laurel, meaning she’s almost certainly going in, and prompting Theresa to vote for Jasmine. Devyn is pissed: “Theresa votes for Jasmine? You mean this woman, this Joan of Arc, who came in here torches blazing, voted for Jasmine?” Theresa is looking meek as hell, and just says, “This is a solo game, and if I don’t have to have the blood on my hands for this vote, then so be it.” Still, I don’t quite know how she expects this to go down, like, does she think Laurel won’t find out? She just sold out four other people who now stand to gain by selling her down the river. Dumb, dumb, dumb. Laurel swears vengeance on all of them.

The boys vote is closer, and comes down to a 3-3 split between  Isaac and Bananas with a couple of loose votes scattered throughout. However, Jordan is the last person to vote, and he is delighted to serve as the tie-breaker. He tells Bananas that it’s time to “earn to earn his stripes” and casts him in. Wow. Laurel and Bananas voted into the elimination round? Talk about a power play from the rest of the house.

Devyn wastes no time in confronting Theresa, who offers the flimsy defense “you didn’t have to vote for Laurel either, the guys already had enough votes to send her in.” Devyn doesn’t even know what to say, and decides that the best option is to make up words, “It’s not a numbers thing it’s an integrity thing and I feel like that was so disintegrous.” Obviously they don’t come to any form of understanding, and Devyn leaves us with one more pearl of wisdom: “Theresa is trying to cover her own ass. What she’s saying doesn’t even make sense. Hashtag Lying!”

Devyn gets the last laugh though, as she immediately goes and tells Laurel that Theresa orchestrated the entire thing, leading Laurel to call Theresa a coward and to promise no mercy.

The Elimination Round

The draw is not kind, and sends the 92 pound Jasmine against Laurel, Queen of the Amazons. Everyone knows exactly how this is going to go, including Jasmine, who starts to cry before the elimination challenge even begins.

The guy’s side looks to be a little more equitable, with  Isaac facing Bananas. Bananas is the clear favorite, as Isaac’s performance in the “bounceout” challenge gave us a good idea of how easily he can be pinned in a physical challenge. Still, they’re at least within a weight class of each other, which is a nice change of pace from the “featherweight vs. Muhammed Ali” duel happening on the ladies side.

The elimination this week is “balls in.” It’s an elimination game that has been played previously. Players alternate guarding a barrel in the middle of a circle. The defensive players goal is to wrestle the opposing player out of the boundaries of the circle, while the offensive players goal is to get the ball inside the barrel and score a point. Whoever has the most points at the end of five rounds wins.

It was never much closer than this.

It was never much closer than this.

The girls round isn’t even close. Laurel doesn’t break a sweat running the ball to the barrel, or tossing Jasmine out of bounds. She does show a remarkable streak of compassion, and lets Jasmine score on her once, but she ultimately dominates the entire competition.

The boys competition isn’t much closer. Bananas has to work a little harder for the win, but the score is ultimately 3-1, and there isn’t really a moment where  Isaac feels like he stands much of a chance. Bananas is faster, more agile, and better at dealing and taking hits. He comes out of the elimination walking tall, and promises that when he and Jordan end up in an elimination round: “you won’t just be missing a hand, I’ll take your head off.” Jordan is unflustered, and delivers the cocky, but pretty badass sound bite: “I shouldn’t have sent a sheep to do my job. Alright. Battle lines have been drawn. I’ll send you home. No worries.”

Jordan and Bananas are poised to go against each other. Laurel has pledged to hunt down Theresa. All of the best veterans are still in the game. This is a great season and it’s only getting better. If you haven’t seen it yet, make sure you do, you can watch the whole episode here.