The Peter Thiel-Gawker-Hulk Hogan brouhaha is a complicated web of deceit, wrongdoing, racism, homophobia and more, but it’s time to take a side. We're here to break it down.

Hulk vs. Gawker vs. Thiel: Whose Side Should We Be On?

May 31, 2016 / by / 0 Comment

Last week, news broke that controversial Silicon Valley billionaire Peter Thiel had been the man funding Hulk Hogan’s lawsuit against Gawker, reportedly to the tune of $10 million, all of out of anger about the way Gawker-owned outlets treated him and others.

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After listening to both Lemonade and Views at least 1.5 times, I came to a pretty obvious conclusion: Drake is a better feminist than Beyonce.

Hot Takes In Your Area: Drake Is A Better Feminist Than Beyonce

May 02, 2016 / by / 0 Comment

Lots of women like to claim to be feminists, but it can be tough to separate the true feminists from the imposters. That’s why it’s important to have people like me acting as the final judge on who really counts as a feminist.

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If Donald Trump was actually a world-famous billionaire, wouldn’t he have been using the secret billionaire’s club to hide his money?

Hot Takes In Your Area: The Panama Papers Prove Donald Trump Is A Terrible Businessman

April 05, 2016 / by / 0 Comment

The news this week that the world’s elite used a shady network of financial institutions to hide their money offshore came as a surprise to literally no one, except apparently the Icelandic pixie-people who emerged from their magical woodlands to oust a prime minister and giggle.

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Head on down to North Carolina, Macklemore and make your voice heard! Bring Ryan Lewis too -- and hell, text Kendrick to see if he’s free. The people need you, now more than ever.

Hot Takes In Your Area: Macklemore, North Carolina Needs You

March 25, 2016 / by / 0 Comment

People, North Carolina has lost its damn mind. Earlier this week, in less time than it takes to watch Batman vs. Superman five consecutive times, the state introduced, researched, studied, debated, passed and signed a bill making it illegal for trans people to go to the bathroom. That’s right, if you’re trans in North Carolina, you just have to hold it forever.

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It's just too little too late for Old News Hillary. She may have the “delegate math” (

Hot Takes In Your Area: Bernie’s Got It In The Bag

March 10, 2016 / by / 0 Comment

NOTE: Hot Takes In Your Area should be considered satire at all points unless you agree with it in which case it’s totally serious.

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Now I didn’t see the movie or any of the nominated films but I can tell you one thing: Mad Max should have won Best Picture.

Hot Takes In Your Area: I Didn’t See It But Mad Max Should Have Won Best Picture

February 29, 2016 / by / 0 Comment

NOTE: Hot Takes In Your Area should be considered satire at all points unless you agree with it in which case it’s totally serious.

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The People vs. O.J. isn't just good tv, it also clearly proves that O.J. didn't murder Nicole Brown Simpson

Hot Takes In Your Area: The People vs. O.J. proves he didn’t do it

February 24, 2016 / by / 0 Comment

NOTE: Hot Takes In Your Area should be considered satire at all points unless you agree with it in which case it’s totally serious.

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Listen up, nerds. Last week every dork in America was freaking about waves of gravity or something but let me just set the record straight: gravitational waves are boring as shit.

Hot Takes In Your Area: Graviational Waves Are Boring As Shit

February 16, 2016 / by / 0 Comment

NOTE: Hot Takes In Your Area should be considered satire at all points unless you agree with it in which case it’s totally serious.

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Hot Takes In Your Area is a series of hot takes that are guaranteed 100% reactionary.

Hot Takes In Your Area: Stop criticizing Peyton Manning for using HGH — you all used it too

February 12, 2016 / by / 1 Comment

NOTE: Hot Takes In Your Area should be considered satire at all points unless you agree with it in which case it’s totally serious.

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