A Line-by-Line Analysis of “Panda” by Desiigner

August 04, 2016 / by / 0 Comment

As the weeks go on, it looks more and more like “Panda” by Desiigner is going to be the song of the summer. However, nobody really knows what it’s about (be quiet, cultured people).

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Here, Have Some Taylor Swift 4th of July Pics With Kafka Quotes On Them

July 08, 2016 / by / 0 Comment

In the spirit of acknowledging Taylor Swift’s unequivocal worstness, we made you a gift to honor the timeless musings of Franz Kafka and the unthinkable self-indulgence of Taylor Swift’s persona. We hope you like it.

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Chance The Rapper, Coloring Book, best album of 2016

The Best Albums of 2016 (so far)

July 05, 2016 / by / 0 Comment

Hard as it may be to believe, 2016 is already more than halfway over. And despite what the Trump campaign or British xenophobia may have you believe, it hasn’t all been terrible this year either, at least not music-wise.

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Updating the best 25 British rock songs to apply to a post-Brexit world.

Post-Brexit British Rock Songs

June 28, 2016 / by / 0 Comment

Now that Britain has fundamentally altered its role in the world following the Brexit vote, it’s time to adjust for the nation’s new global standing by updating their only remaining contribution to global culture to reflect a post-Brexit reality:

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A triumph of both lyrically tenderness and lo-fi intensity, Puberty 2 has overtaken Kanye West’s ever-evolving The Life of Pablo as the best album of the year.

500 words on Why Mitski’s Puberty 2 is my favorite Album of 2016

June 17, 2016 / by / 1 Comment

I’m an easy person to please. I like my rock n’ roll sad and about love. The more times someone sings “cry” the better. I have the album cover of Sea Change on my bedroom wall for crying out loud.

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Our highly analytical breakdown of the most likely Song Of The Summer finalist for 2016

What’s Going to be The Song Of The Summer 2016?

June 13, 2016 / by / 1 Comment

A few weeks ago as I sat my desk, hunched over my computer, a young child came up to me and exclaimed,“April showers bring May flowers!”

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After listening to both Lemonade and Views at least 1.5 times, I came to a pretty obvious conclusion: Drake is a better feminist than Beyonce.

Hot Takes In Your Area: Drake Is A Better Feminist Than Beyonce

May 02, 2016 / by / 0 Comment

Lots of women like to claim to be feminists, but it can be tough to separate the true feminists from the imposters. That’s why it’s important to have people like me acting as the final judge on who really counts as a feminist.

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Prince is irreplaceable. Nobody else exists in the cultural space he held.

On Prince

April 21, 2016 / by / 0 Comment

I remember the 2007 Super Bowl for two reasons: 1. It was the day of my great Aunt’s funeral. 2. Prince’s Halftime show.

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What Zayn Malik's sexy smash hit can teach us about defeating the existential threat of ISIS

How Zayn’s “Pillowtalk” gave us a strategy to defeat ISIS

March 11, 2016 / by / 0 Comment

Zayn Malik’s sexy smash “Pillowtalk” is already one of the biggest hits of 2016. But what you may not know is that the single not only is a commercial success and dirty redirection of the singer’s style, but also lays out a cogent blueprint for defeating one of the international community’s most dangerous and existential threats:

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