Booty calls can be tricky business. Use this guide to get down to business.

A User’s Guide To Booty Calls

April 01, 2015 / by / 2 Comments

Welcome to Relationship Status, a series of discussions about romance and relationships in the 21st century. Because we live in a society literally founded by Puritans, we tend to project a lot of shame onto asking for sex.

Why do we date?

The Existential Terror of Dating In Your Early-20s

March 25, 2015 / by / 4 Comments

Welcome to Relationship Status, a series of discussions about romance and relationships in the 21st century. Why do we date? 

Modeling the difference between a social gathering with and without the presence of YouTube videos.

Please Stop Playing YouTube Videos at Hangouts: An Empirical Modeling

February 19, 2015 / by / 1 Comment

Last weekend, I spent a Saturday evening at a friend’s place. There were about 8 or 9 or so people there. It was fine. We had a few beers, talked about whatever. Then someone had the idea to play a funny YouTube video for everyone on the television.


Why Eating Out Alone Kicks Ass

February 17, 2015 / by / 1 Comment

Eating out alone is fucking great, and I don’t give a shit what you or any “licensed” therapist has to say about it.

I commented "Literally so ugly" on every picture I saw on Facebook for an entire year. This is my story.

Here’s what happens when you comment “Literally so ugly” on every picture you see for a year

January 25, 2015 / by / 4 Comments

Social media. It defines us, pressures us, connects us and fascinates us. But what if you radically reinvented the way you act on it? Well, for one entire year, I did.

4 key changes the NFL should make in order to reduce the suckiness of the Pro Bowl

4 Ways to Make the Pro Bowl Suck Less

January 04, 2015 / by / 1 Comment

The Pro Bowl is definitely the worst all-star game of any professional sport. The NBA All-Star Game is a beautiful tribute to all of the crazy shit NBA players wish they could do in games. The NHL All-Star game has similar displays of ridiculous, plus they get extra special bonus points for being the first league to use the kickball draft system.

Taylor Swift Halloween costume ideas

How to dress like every track on Taylor Swift’s ‘1989’ for Halloween

October 31, 2014 / by / 42 Comments

Everyone appreciates a good topical Halloween costume, but certain ideas can also be an obvious choice and you run the risk of bumping into 5 other people dressed as Ebola at your Halloween party. Want to really impress your friends and strangers? Go as the most important musical act of the year—Taylor Swift.


The Honest Entry-Level Cover Letter

July 31, 2014 / by / 22 Comments

Dear HR Assistant, I would like to express my interest in an entry-level position with your company, whose name I am currently checking my browser to remember. Throughout my time Googling job openings in this city, I happened upon this company’s page and noticed you have several open positions that could provide me with money.


The (Very) In-Depth Guide to Naming Your Penis

July 29, 2014 / by / 6 Comments

Schlong. Quiver bone. Surfboardt. There are hundreds of different names for what we as a society have come to call “the penis.” However, a true gentleman does not settle on a generic description like “purple-helmeted warrior of love” for his own ding-dong. No, he must find an individual name for his meat constrictor – one that matches his personality, goals, and pubic hair.


12 Tips to Help Figure Out if the Woman You’re Hitting On Has a Boyfriend

July 17, 2014 / by , , / 231 Comments

We’ve all been there. You’re chatting up a lady and things are going great. Maybe you’ve thrown down on a drink or three for the pair of you. She seems receptive to your jokes, she’s cute, she doesn’t seem to be with anyone, she seems genuinely interested in you… and then BOOM!! 36 minutes and untold anxiety into the conversation, she drops the good old “Well me and my boyfriend once….”