Right in his goddamn smug jaw

10 Things I Would Do to Punch Ted Cruz in the Fucking Face

March 01, 2016 / by / 0 Comment

We’ve always been told that if you dream enough about your goals and are willing to make sacrifices, then you can accomplish said goals.

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Five potential nominees for President Barack Obama to put forward for Justice Antonin Scalia's vacant seat on the Supreme Court

Five suggested candidates to replace Antonin Scalia on the Supreme Court

February 17, 2016 / by / 0 Comment

While human bullfrog Mitch McConnell backtracks on his assertive statement that the Supreme Court vacancy left by Justice Antonin Scalia should not be filled until a new president is elected, Barack Obama has been busy trying to think of replacements for Scalia in his lame duck period of the presidency, or as Biden calls it, the “fuck you, fuck you, and fuck you” stage. Here are our suggestions of potential nominees to replace Scalia:

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Tweets from Donald Trump's twitter rant against Jeb Bush

If Donald Trump Went On A Kanye-Style Twitter Rant

January 28, 2016 / by / 0 Comment

What if, inspired by Kanye West’s recent incredible, brutal, just-the-teensiest-flagrantly-sexist evisceration of Wiz Khalifa yesterday on Twitter, Donald Trump released a barrage of tweets savaging Jeb Bush?

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National Ave's exclusive interview between Sean Penn and ISIS Caliph Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi

ISIS Caliph Speaks: The exclusive interview with Sean Penn

January 12, 2016 / by / 0 Comment

It’s October 30th, 2015. The call to prayer is blaring in my head as I wake up, the cocaine still hasn’t worn off and I don’t know where to hide this dead hooker.

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How Steve Harvey's celebrity friends attempted to console him after his embarrassing gaffe to close the Miss Universe Pageant

Text Messages Steve Harvey Received After The Miss Universe Pageant

December 23, 2015 / by / 0 Comment

The reactions to Steve Harvey’s embarrassing gaffe at the Miss Universe pageant came fast and furious, but perhaps none were more heartwarming than the number of text messages Harvey received from his fellow celebrity friends.

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DJ Khaled Christmas Guide

DJ Khaled’s Christmas Shopping Guide

December 18, 2015 / by / 2 Comments

It’s ya boi, DJ Khaled and if you smart and you the best, then you gon get the right Christmas present for those loved ones.

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Republican candidates hip hop

If These GOP Presidential Candidates Were Rap Songs of 2015

December 15, 2015 / by / 0 Comment

We determined which hip hop song of 2015 was most applicable to these six Republican presidential candidates because, if we’re being honest, we just really needed something enjoyable to laugh about with these candidates.

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Electoral College Dropout: Speculating Kanye’s Cabinet Appointments in 2020

September 09, 2015 / by / 1 Comment

December, 2020 — It’s been approximately one month since the nation chose to elect the presidential ticket of Kanye West and Dalai Lama

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Vice President Biden’s Coachella Police Report

May 06, 2015 / by / 0 Comment

It has been reported by several witnesses that Vice President and Ben & Jerry’s enthusiast Joe Biden spent an inordinate amount of time at this year’s Coachella fest trying to evade police and “getting more ass than a toilet seat.” Fortunately for the American public, his police record was released this morning and accounts for most of the happenings at Coachella:

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How will Trump pay for his Mexican wall?

How will the GOP solve its Mexican Wall problem?

April 17, 2015 / by / 2 Comments

As the fiscally responsible Gay Old Party (I think that’s what it stands for, or something like that) pushes forward on spending $14 Billion of tax-payer’s money on building a wall (ask the Chinese how well this fucking idea works) one has to wonder about the logistics of this reverse Statue of Liberty which has so emboldened the angry tangerine in D.C. The most important question now is – who will build it?

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