Upcoming bombshells author J.K. Rowling plans on dropping about the Harry Potter series

The Next 33 Things J.K. Rowling Will Retroactively Change About Harry Potter

December 07, 2015 / by , , , , , , / 0 Comment

Ever since the Harry Potter series concluded in 2007, J.K. Rowling has been dropping revelations about the books, from Dumbledore’s sexuality to Ron’s near death to the correct pronunciation of “Voldemort.” Here are the next 33 bombshells Rowling plans on dropping about Harry Potter:

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There’s A Court Case About Gollum In Turkey Because God Loves Us

December 02, 2015 / by / 0 Comment

The Associated Press reported this morning that Bilgin Ciftci, a Turkish doctor recently accused of defaming President Recep Tayyip Erdogan by comparing him to Gollum on social media, has had his trial adjourned until February 23 while a panel of psychological and cinematic experts determine whether Gollum is actually good or evil.

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The NFL Was Absolutely Magnificent This Week

December 01, 2015 / by / 0 Comment

Much like Eli Manning’s throwing accuracy, weeks in the NFL can be very hit-or-miss.

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Packers fans become the first in the country to think that lots of sex with Olivia Munn is a bad thing

Packers Fans Think Aaron Rodgers’ Slump Is Due To Oversexing With Olivia Munn

November 19, 2015 / by , / 31 Comments

Packers fans just can’t comprehend how their team could possibly have lost three games in a row, and are starting to grasp for explanations.

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God Has Sent Another Jaguars-Titans Primetime Game to Punish Us For Our Sins

November 19, 2015 / by / 0 Comment

Last year, the world was shaken to its core when the Jacksonville Jaguars and Tennessee Titans squared off at 8:30pm EST on a Thursday night, a time slot which contains no other professional football games, leaving NFL fans with ostensibly no choice but to watch the two worst teams in the NFL hash out 60 eternal minutes of middle-school caliber football. 

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Our panel of experts answer the age-old question.

Who are the 100 Greatest Shitty Bands of All Time?

November 13, 2015 / by , , , , , , , / 4 Comments

There are a lot of shitty bands out there. And, much like snowflakes or KISS solo albums, each shitty band is uniquely shitty in their own special way.

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Spectre Wasn’t the Classic Bond Film It Wanted To Be

November 06, 2015 / by / 0 Comment

If you asked a 007 enthusiast to reconstruct a new Bond story based on his favorite parts of the first 23 installments in the franchise, it would probably look a hell of a lot like Spectre. Well, sort of.

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You already have your Halloween costume picked out, but you’re not quite sure which 2016 presidential candidate that means you are. Let’s find out!

What your Halloween costume says about your candicacy for the presidential nomination

October 29, 2015 / by , , / 4 Comments

You already have your Halloween costume picked out, but you’re not quite sure which 2016 presidential candidate that means you are. Let’s find out!

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We came up with your next fantasy football team name so you don't have to

Week 4 Fantasy Football Team Names

October 03, 2015 / by / 2 Comments

Every week, I suggest new fantasy football team names based on the notable events of the previous week of football. It’s my way of coping with my tragic unwillingness to stick to a fantasy team name for more than one week at a time.

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Week 3 Fantasy Football Team Names

September 24, 2015 / by / 2 Comments

Every week, I suggest dozens of new fantasy football team names based on the notable events of the previous week of football. It’s my way of coping with my tragic unwillingness to stick to a fantasy team name for more than one week at a time.

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